I left my husband 3 years ago, taking my two kids with me, after a few months we tried to work out our marriage and so I let him take my youngest daughter to stay with him over the weekends, until now I have not been able to get my daughter from him. He would always want us to visit them in their house and I can't take my youngest with me anymore. He locks the gate in their house whenever we're there. I made a couple of scene in the past because of these incidents. My daughter is now 5 years. I'm afraid that she's growing up without me around all the time. She's lived there now and I'm afraid she might not want to come with me anymore since she learned to love the people there. I can't take her out of the house, my husband is afraid that I'm going to take her and will not bring her back; which is really what I'm going to do. In the first place, he did this when I only allowed him to spend the weekends with his daughter. He took full responsibility without my consent.
-- Kelly
A.
Your mistake is all too common. Parents often think they're making child custody arrangements "just for a little while," but judges don't see it that way. Whatever the status quo is at the time they are considering the case is the status quo they often want to preserve if possible.
Get the list of child custody factors used in your state and make sure you have prepared a good argument on EACH factor, including what you would say, what Dad would say, and what evidence you would be prepared to show a judge to help the judge understand your point of view. Then ask your lawyer to listen to your description of the factors and give you a realistic evaluation of your chances. If the lawyer thinks the best you can get is defined visitation, don't spend a lot of money or time trying to get full custody.
