Ask a Lawyer - Archive

My husband and I got custody of his daughter 3 years ago. They told him if it wasn't for me, he would never gotten her. Now the problem is I want to leave him and get a divorce. His daughter wants to live with me and he keeps saying no. Can I take her since I had to sign papers for her?

In all states I know of, the biological parent of a child has the inside track on child custody. You say "my husband and I got custody," but I'm assuming it is he, not you, who have custodial rights to the child. In general, to get custody of your stepdaughter over his objection, you would be required to show that he is unfit as a parent, and then you would have to show that Mom is unfit as well. I won't say you can't do that, but I will say it's extraordinarily difficult. Stepparents like you face a painful and vexing choice: either stay in a loveless marriage for the benefit of the stepchild or leave and face the possibility of total separation from the stepchild. I'm sorry to say I don't know of any easy way you can change that.