Dad Neglecting Hygiene During Visitation Lee Borden
Q.
My daughter is 7 years old and goes to her dads every other weekend, 6 weeks during the summer and 1 week for spring break. She recently came back from spring break and had obviously not taken a bath in days. A few days earlier I had seen her and she had on the same clothes I had put her in 2 days before. She smelled terrible, bad breath, etc. She also had been to the doctor for an earache and been given meds for this. She left me messages and came back with her ear still hurting. I know of at least 3 days she wasn't given her meds. There is smoking going on everywhere she goes as well. I don't want her to go for the summer visit. I don't have the money to pay for a lawyer. What to do? And furthermore, what if anything legally can I do about her hygiene. Note: I do have full custody subject to his visits if that is helpful. Thanks!
-- Sue
A.
You're not going to like my answer. In general, judges will lean over backward to protect the visitation rights of noncustodial parents. I could regale you with war stories, but suffice it to say that your judge has seen worse, much worse, and probably within the last day or two. At 7, your daughter is old enough to make her own decisions about brushing and flossing, bathing, changing clothes, etc. Spend this time between now and summer break teaching her, encouraging her, and rewarding her for taking responsibility for her own hygiene. Then neither you nor she will be so dependent on Dad or others in Dad's family to enforce her hygiene.
