Patricia A. Hendrickson Family Law Blog on Lawyers.com

QUESTION: 

What is it a non-custodial parent is required to provide
for their children when they have them for visitation? I am trying to determine
whether

to move forward in requesting a change in visitations
for my children, who tell me they have no beds on which to sleep.  The Judgment
says visitation is “as agreed by both parents,” and their father doesn’t see
them much – maybe once a month.  This has worked well.  The kids look forward to
seeing him, and they sleep on air mattresses in his living room.  But I’m also
worried about what my ex-husband and his wife think is okay – like Mohawk
haircuts on kids and skull clothing.  I mean, our kids are only 7 and 9 years
old!  And the other day, the kids told me that he got really drunk in front of
them, and that they had to spend the night on a stranger’s couch because he was
too drunk to drive them home.  How serious is this?

Thank you,

Judy

Hello Judy,

I have a serious concern with the drinking issue.  If he
is doing dangerous things in front of the kids and you know it, you could get
involved in a child endangerment issue.  That's where one parent doesn't take
the appropriate steps to protect their children when they know one parent is
taking risks when he's caring for the children.  In a case like that, Social
Services can get involved.  Here, if you know he got so drunk in front of the
kids, you know there's a danger, and this enables you to go to court on an
emergency basis and ask for orders protecting your children.  The longer you
wait, the less an emergency it becomes in the eyes of the court since if you
wait, the court feels it's not truly a threat.  This could reflect poorly on you
later in your case.  But if he's behaving like this, putting your children at
risk (because let's face it, he sees them so infrequently, if he can't stay
sober during one of his rare visitations, he probably is drinking lots and they
just haven't told you), you have no alternative.

If your ex-husband cannot afford to rent a place with
bedrooms for the children, and since they only visit once a month, sleeping on
air mattresses may not be viewed as “bad” by the court.  Your boys may feel it’s
an adventure, which is what it sounds like since they still look forward to
seeing him.  There is no hard and fast law that says what a non-custodial parent
must do, and your children are not necessarily guaranteed a bedroom, although
many judges feel that is a bare minimum; lots depends on the judge assigned to
your case, and you have no control over who that will be. 

And by the way, in the court’s eyes, Mohawks are
inappropriate haircuts for grade school boys.  I’ve seen parents lose custody of
a child by returning that child to their other parent with a Mohawk
haircut.

Best,

Pat Hendrickson