David J. Glass Child Custody Law Blog on Lawyers.com

When parents are willing to work cooperatively, and are diligent about
tuning into their children's emotional needs, they help to promote
their children's long term adjustment. And while it is impossible to
eliminate stress from the situation, parents can certainly reduce the
stresses associated with divorce so that their children can not just
tolerate but also overcome them.

Here are 6 great ways to do this:

1. Reassure Your Child:

Children want to hear that everything is going to work out "alright."
They need to hear that their parents have a plan, and that plan has
things that are important to the child as part of it. More
specifically, you need to reassure your child that their school,
friends, play-dates, sports activities, and other favorite things to do
will all remain the same. The only thing that will be different is that
their parents will be living in two different homes, and they will
spend part of each week with each parent.

2. Encourage Your Child to Talk:

The best way to encourage your child to talk is to show him or her
empathy and respect when they do try to talk. The positive experience
of being "listened to" and "understood" by parents is probably the
single most important element in encouraging further talk. Giving your
child the experience of receiving active and empathetic listening is
even more important, ultimately, than providing a problem-solving
experience. Make your child feel comfortable about coming to you with
problems first; try to jump in and solve them a little later.

3. Accept Your Child's Feelings About the Divorce:

When you talk to your child about the divorce, or when your child
brings up the subject in other arenas, be ready to recognize and accept
any emotional state that may accompany the talk. It does not matter if
your child is sad, or angry, or frustrated, or confused. If your child
is feeling that way, then you, as the parent, need to acknowledge that
feeling, validate that feeling, and then try to help your child
modulate that feeling.

4. Show Your Child That You Have Feelings About the Divorce, Too:

By admitting to your child that sometimes you are afraid, or feel sad,
or get angry, you validate their own feelings, and also show your child
how successful modulation of your own emotions "gets you through."

5. Maintain as Many Routines As Possible:

Routines mean stability to children. Stability means security. By
maintaining the same weekday and weekend schedules, as much as
possible, and as similarly as possible between your child's two homes
will go a long way in making your child feel secure in his or her
"brand new world."

6. Support Your Child's Relationship With the Other Parent:

Let's face it, if you and your ex-spouse got along so well, you'd still
be together. Nevertheless, if you and your ex-spouse can learn to get
along, can remain friendly, and can avoid, altogether, any
"badmouthing" of the other parent, your child's probably of not just
surviving but thriving in a divorced family jumps considerably. Your
child needs to hear and feel that you know that it is safe to be with
the other parent. Your child needs to see that you are happy that he or
she enjoys his or her time with the other parent. And, once you are
successful, you will find you have new "free time" that you didn't have
before when you can take a quick break from being a parent, and focus
more on what you want your own future to look like.

Good luck.

--David.

This article provided by:

GLASS FAMILY LAW, 9320 Wilshire Blvd, Suite 306, Beverly Hills, CA  90212

www.glassfamilylaw.com