Increasingly, divorcing couples are using collaborative law in an effort to settle their differences in a positive, cooperative manner that resolves child custody issues, the division of assets and alimony in a mutually agreeable manner. In a collaborative divorce, each spouse and their lawyers agree to stay out of court, freely share information and avoid taking advantages any mistakes that might be made.
The key distinction between a collaborative divorce and a traditional, adversarial divorce can be found in a couple of definitions. To ''collaborate'' means to work together. To be ''adverse'' means to oppose.
Collaborative divorce law is:
Collaborative law gives both spouses and their lawyers control of the proceedings, in contrast to a traditional divorce, where a judge controls the proceedings.
The participation agreement or collaborative commitment agreement is a key feature of the collaborative divorce. This agreement, which is signed by both spouses and their lawyers, typically requires all parties to agree that:
One of the first steps in the collaborative process is to determine what you have (such as assets and income) using an informal, trust-based ''share and verify'' approach. You're asked to disclose this information voluntarily and to verify it with documentation and tax returns.
At what are known as joint sessions or 4-way conferences, both spouses and their collaborative lawyers (and sometimes other neutral professionals) meet to discuss the issues and seek ways to create or arrive at agreement. They brainstorm for any and all possible solutions. All parties focus on ways to resolve the problem, instead of seeing the other party as the problem and attacking each other.
Each spouse often starts seeing things more from their spouse's point of view.
When you reach a divorce agreement through collaborative law, one of the lawyers will draft legal documents that detail the agreements which have been reached. These legally binding documents are then submitted to the court for approval without having to go through a long court hearing.
If you can't arrive at a settlement through the collaborative law approach, the collaborative lawyers withdraw from the case and each party will hire a divorce attorney to tackle the issues in court. That way, you'll have had the best representation for each phase of their proceeding.
Any person approaching a divorce situation should talk with a collaborative lawyer to get an assessment of his or her situation to see if it might be settled without litigation. The earlier this is done, the more chance there is for the other party to be oriented toward a settlement approach.
No matter which settlement approach is chosen, a collaborative lawyer is a valuable ally.
If you and your spouse both agree to engage in a collaborative divorce, your next step is to find a lawyer who is experienced with collaborative divorces.
As you interview collaborative divorce attorneys, consider asking the following questions:
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