Sandy T. Fox Divorce Law Blog on Lawyers.com

There are times when people legally separated have doubts about making it alone, about their children, about the decision to divorce, and about how to handle the finances. Thoughts of divorce reconciliation may occur regularly as these areas are explored. Sometimes divorce reconciliation can work beautifully. Sometimes attempting to reconcile can go horribly, horribly wrong. Regardless of how the heart or mind may feel about the matter, without lots of hard work and couples therapy, many well-meaning couples often fall right back into their old patterns and habits, the problems that caused the divorce in the first place.

If you are considering divorce reconciliation, you must understand that doing so is a delicate matter. Think about your marriage, how it was, and how you had hoped it would be with him or her. Think of all of the changes you would prefer to see the second time around. With these ideas in mind, ask yourself if these changes are possible. And not just possible, but really possible.

Certainly, anything can happen, and anything is possible, especially if both parties are willing. Let's assume that your spouse is in fact willing and the two of you agree to attend couples counseling. You both work hard at nurturing the relationship. You both make changes in your lives and your habits to accommodate the other party. Now ask yourself - would all of this effort be enough to salvage the marriage? If the answer is no, then you are doing great! So many people who divorce reach this point and state that no amount of change would ever be enough. The loss of trust, betrayal, deception, and pain is so overwhelming that nothing could rekindle those feelings or stoke the flame of love. If you are one of these individuals, honor your choice in the original divorce and come to the realization that you have done the right thing. You certainly are not a quitter or a failure. You have simply learned how to cut your losses and move on.

The deep emotions related to divorce, as well as the desire to reconcile a relationship, are often more about returning to a familiar entity rather than returning to a lost love. It is commonly the fear of being alone or of the unknown rather than desire to restore the marriage. Some divorcees change their minds and try again- not because they believe it will actually work out the second time around, but because they fear the future or the unknown. No matter if you leave the relationship or stay with it, the future is always unknown. Yet, making a decision based on true feelings rather than fear is always the best choice.

The Law Office of Sandy T Fox provides a full range of legal services to suit your divorce and family law legal needs. To arrange a consultation, contact the law firm at 888.217.7526.