Frederic L. Goeddel Premarital Agreements Law Blog on Lawyers.com

Previously printed in the The Business Courier, reprinted by permission
Tanya Bricking Leach, Courier Contributor

If you think prenups are just for "The Donald," you might be a romantic, or you might be missing something that could cost you once it's too late to do anything about it.

Prenuptial agreements are no longer just for the rich and famous, like real estate mogul Donald Trump or presidential contender John McCain. More everyday people are popping the question with a few strings attached.

"Traditionally, prenups were usually confined to those couples where one had substantially more wealth than the other or upon second marriages," said Fred Goeddel, an attorney who specializes in family law at The Drew Law Firm downtown. "This still comprises the vast majority of prenups, but today, there are many other specific reasons why a couple planning marriage would be well served to enter into a prenup."

Maybe it's the idea of protecting property or the best interests of children from a first marriage in mind. Or maybe it's protecting a family business or inheritance.

The sure thing is the days of a prenup being a stigma are going away, said New York City attorney Arlene Dubin, author of "Prenups for Lovers" (Villard Books, 2001). A prenup is a legally binding safety net now used in about 20 percent of second marriages and 10 percent of first marriages, she said, an estimate that's only going up.

"You really have to be very naïve if you think marriage has nothing to do with economics," Dubin said. "It has everything to do with economics."

Money isn't all you need
It makes sense then, she said, for smart, loving couples to sort out important financial issues before tying the knot.

"It tends to strengthen relationships if a marriage is based on reality and romance," she said, "not just 'love is all you need.' It didn't work for Paul McCartney."

It doesn't have to kill the romance if couples agree on a practical level that marriage is a contractual relationship where their rights and obligations come into play, said Guy Hild, an attorney with the downtown firm Katz, Teller, Brant & Hild who specializes in family law.

"It forces people to talk about important topics before they marry," he said.

But it's not for everyone.

"Two young people starting with nothing don't need one," Hild said. "They're usually used to protect something."

If there's reluctance for couples to marry just because of the idea that they might lose or have to share property in the event of a divorce, then it's time to seriously consider a prenup, Goeddel said.

Ask: "If I were to die, is it fair that my spouse receive my property rather than other family members?" Or: "If I got divorced, do I feel it would be fair that my spouse receive any of the property I owned at the time we were married or in the appreciation of that property?"

"If you feel it would not be 'fair' under either of these circumstances," Goeddel said, you need to consider a prenup."

Prenups can include unusual terms, such as who does the chores, who has child care responsibilities or what religious customs are practiced, Goeddel said. Some have made news for dictating weight requirements, banning smoking or spelling out a time period for having children. But the norm in this area is more conservative, Goeddel said. Prenups here are most often drafted to protect inheritances, family business interests and to allow one entering a second marriage to pass on property to children.

Broaching the subject might be one of the biggest hurdles. It's best to include conversations in advance of a wedding when discussing a range of financial matters, said Julie Lingler, a couples therapist in Blue Ash. "It may take some of the sting out."

Gently, over time, discussions should include everything from insurance to how bills will be paid, whether to have joint accounts, what credit card habits are in play and how to pay debts, she said.

"Money is never just about money," Lingler said.

The upside, she said, is it can benefit partners to know family businesses are protected, inheritances are safe and children's interests are looked after.

"Often, the presence of a prenup will help partners' children to better accept and enjoy a relationship with their new step-parent," Lingler said. "When they're not worried about their inheritance, or if the step-parent will get the family lake house or the grandmother's china, they can relax into an easier relationship."

So, just who is a good fit for a prenup?

• Downtown family law attorney Fred Goeddel said a person doesn't need to be rich, but what is "rich"? It's subjective, he said. "I would say that if you have accumulated at least $100,000 in combined assets, such as IRAs, 401(k)s, real estate or investment accounts, and your spouse has few, if any, assets, you should consider a prenup."
• A prenup also makes sense, he said, if you or your spouse have assets that are $100,000 more than the other. As this disparity of property increases, he said, the need for a prenup becomes more important.

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